Comedian Chelsea Handler has build a brand on being childless and single. She often talks and writes about the fact that she never wanted to have kids, which is why she’s so carefree and happy. Her latest is a reel called “day in the life of a childless woman.”
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There are some celebrities who have always been outspoken about never wanting children, but Chelsea Handler, 47, probably takes the cake for the Hollywood veteran who talks most about her choice to never become a mother. In a recent interview on The Tonight Show, hosted by Jimmy Fallon, she talked about not being equipped to handle motherhood. “I’m very outspoken about not wanting to be a parent,” she said. “Because I don’t think I have the skills.” She jokes that she didn’t know that the sun and the moon weren’t the same thing until she turned 40 years old. Last year on the podcast “Race to 35,” she said that if she ever got pregnant, she would have an abortion.
“I went to Disneyland when I was 5 or 6 – I felt like my intelligence was under assault because I couldn’t believe what a racket that place was,” she said. “And I made a vow to myself that I would never have a child so I would never have to go back. I don’t know if I knew that [at the time]. But I had an instinct, and that instinct stayed with me.”
Throughout most of her career, Chelsea has been outwardly open about not wanting to have kids, insisting that motherhood robs you of your chance to be free and enjoy life. Her latest rage against motherhood came in the form of a reel posted by The Daily Show entitled “Day in the life of a childless woman.”
Chelsea Handler Posts “Day in the Life of a Childless Woman” Video To Brag About How Much “Free Time” She Has Compared to Mothers
In the short skit posted to Instagram, Chelsea waves to the camera as she says in the background, “This is a day in the life of a childless woman.” She then takes us through her day and explains what she does with her time. “I wake up at 6 a.m. and remember I don’t have kids to take to school, so I take an edible, masturbate, and go back to sleep,” she says. “I wake up at 12:30 p.m. and get ready for a busy day of doing whatever the f*ck I feel like.”
She puts on her “most impractical and stylish shoes” because she won’t be chasing her child around a grocery store. She goes to Paris to get a croissant and then meditates on a plane “because I have no screaming kids,” which allows her to become enlightened. “The weightlessness of my existence has granted me superhuman powers,” she jokes. “I teleport myself back home, ready for a night out with a hot guy I met on Raya that morning.”
