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October 25, 2021

Marvel EMBARRASSED! The Eternals Reviews Tank! Worse Than Captain Marvel! Lowest Score In 10 Years!

TheQuartering [10/25/2021]

The reviews are in for The Eternals and it’s one of Marvels worst movies ever.

According to Forbes:

More than any other Marvel movie since the start of this whole MCU phenomenon, director Chloé Zhao’s Eternals feels like “just a superhero movie.” Kevin Feige’s Marvel movies have, to various degrees, differentiated themselves from each other and from the competition by appropriating various genres and selling them as “superhero-plus” action spectacles. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a Tom Clancy-ish spy thriller, Ant-Man is a heist flick, Shang-Chi is a wuxia fantasy, etc., etc. Eternals, comparatively, just presents a centuries-spanning story of celestial superbeings whose defining attributes are their immortality and their arbitrary superpowers. At its worst, it plays like exactly the kind of run-of-the-mill “But, it’s about superheroes!” franchise-starter that Hollywood has doomed itself trying to craft in the wake of Batman Begins and The Avengers. At its best, it’s actually a meta-textual approximation not of any genre but of a rival brand. In a skewed, unsubtle way, Eternals plays like Marvel trying their hand at a Zack Snyder-ish DC Comics movie.

The cast of immortal aliens have a more-than-passing resemblance to your favorite DC Super Friends. For example, Richard Madden is “not Superman,” Salma Hayek (who wants to protect humanity whether or not they deserve it) is “not Wonder Woman,” Kumail Nanjiani (who can project cosmic energy from his hands) is “not Green Lantern,” Lauren Ridloff is “not The Flash,” and Brian Tyree Henry (a brilliant scientist with a grim view of humanity who dresses in blue) is “not Batman.” I can’t speak to the origins of the Jack Kirby’s original comic book, so this may all be source-faithful, but the film’s pondering (and sometimes compelling) conversations about the role of invincible gods living among mere mortals and the debates about whether to shape their own destiny against the will of higher powers will remind folks of Man of Steel and both cuts of Justice League. Alas, these folks don’t have the advantage of being established/iconic superheroes, so in this film they come off as off-brand knock-offs.

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